Tensa
For those who score in the top 2% of any
nationally-recognized stress test.
Tensa International is an organization created
to serve those who badly need to get a life, but find that it's too much
trouble. With a membership currently 50,000 strong (plus another 80,000
wan or weak) Tensa has chapters all over the world, and elsewhere.
Although Tensa's mission is ostensibly to provide enhanced dining experiences,
the group also fosters research and other wimpy do-good balderdash through
its non-profit foundation, TURF (Tensa Untranslatable Acronym Foundation.)
Do you qualify for Tensa? Anyone who has scored higher
than 150/90 on any recognized sphygmomanometer may be eligible. You may
also submit prior evidence of qualification, such as a history of taking
vasodialators, diuretics, or beta blockers. Not sure? Take
our simple test, then have your blood pressure measured, and see for yourself.
Which of the figures above does not belong?
If you choose "D", "4", "the one in the lower right"
or "the triangle you moron!" and are particularly upset about it, you may
qualify. If you selected any of the other figures, you need to click
the hard-to-read link that follows this sentence. [HERE.]
To try several more Tensa Pre-Qualification
Questions, click the triangle in the figure above.
Multiple Tension Factors?
One
of the chief causes of hypertension is excessive intelligence. There are
7 different forms of intelligence. Click at left to find out what
kind you have, if any:
Tensa Logo Requirements
Note:
Tensa International has strict rules governing the use of its logo.
To see examples of proper usage, click the button at left.
Note: Tensa International has absolutely no connection
or affiliation with any other organization that might rhyme, including
Immensa, Densa, or Pretensa. Everything on these pages are works
of fiction, unless you don't understand the concept of parody, in which
case it's the gospel truth.
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